i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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