trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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