I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
