dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
