It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
