ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i love accidental penises.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
