I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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