I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
