someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
