whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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