Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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