Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
