Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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