what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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