If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
