Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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