i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
