I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
