Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
