weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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