Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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