it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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