um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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