CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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