Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
