I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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