I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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