you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
