you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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