The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We left the knife in your bed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
