Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize