so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
