I wannas sexs uuuuu
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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