I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize