...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You've changed since you got that strap on
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
