I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
