sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
