just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
