Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
