i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
