Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
