I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
