Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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