Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
