just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
