you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
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I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude