dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
