The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
And then he peed in my hair
So. Much. Porn.
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