if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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