Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
