Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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