I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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