You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
