So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
