you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
