Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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