Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
