omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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