great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
