We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
