I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
