one two three fourrrrnication!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
